Not a Morning Person
by Glaceon Giggles
Summary: A oneshot about how crappy Deidara's mornings are at the Akatsuki lair. Just shows how much the rest of the members piss him off. First fic. ENJOY!


**Author's Note:**** Hello! I'm pretty new here on and this won't be a very long story. So, I put this on here as practice, sort of, kinda...yeah. Anyways, I hope you like it and since I'm new, **_**please**_** go easy with the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Thanks!!**

**Oh and BTW, I don't own **_**anything**_ **Naruto** **related. It is all Kishimoto-sensei's stuff. **

**:3**

**-Glaceon Giggles**

Not a Morning Person

(Deidara's POV)

Every day starts out in the same way. I slowly peel back my left eyelid, (since my other is covered by a scope) and see more darkness. All mornings are dark in the Akatsuki hideout. The fact that our lair is completely windowless and underground doesn't help the fact that I'm not a morning person. At least I'm not claustrophobic, or waking up would be even _more _loathsome. I finally dragged my feet out from under the sheets and groped around my pitch-black room, trying to find a towel so I could start my gloomy day.

As I shuffled into the cramped dining area twenty minutes later, I saw Tobi chatting incessantly at a very drowsy looking Kisame, who's head was about to fall into his pork and rice filled bowl.

'Well he obviously has a hangover, un...' I thought moodily to myself, not looking forward to his complaining that early in the morning. "G'morning, un." I slurred, making my presence known. Tobi immediately shut his mouth as I walked in and grabbed the carton of milk.

'Well this is pleasant.' I mused, basking in the silence while shaking out the last of the corn flakes into my bowl.

I looked to Kisame when he picked his head up groggily. He shoveled three spoonfuls of pork into the sharp-looking black hole that is his mouth, without stopping for a breath.

'Disgusting.' I mentally gagged at the blue man for his terrible table manners. Well, there _are_ only men here now, aside from _that_. I eyed Tobi, who sat two seats away from me.

I never really was a fan of meat, and I lost my taste for dango after having learned that it was practically all Itachi ate. My thoughts soured at the Uchiha's name. _Itachi._ He was the whole damn reason for me being here in the first place. One day I would have my revenge. By covering one of my eyes with a scope lens, I would be able to overcome his putrid Sharingan, and blast him to Kingdom Come--

"Oi! Anyone home?" Kisame waved a hand in front of my face, snapping me from my dark thoughts of the Uchiha. "Welcome to Earth." He added, chuckling at his own joke.

I glared at him through my visible eye and frowned down at the spoon laying in my hand. 'Har har...'

Tobi, Kisame, and I were the only ones up at the moment, and I was, for once, relieved. However, something was off. Tobi had actually been silent the entire time I was there. No sempai this, or sempai that. He really shut up. But he was staring at me through the eye hole of his mask. Somehow, whatever the stupid brat did pissed me off.

"What, un?!" I snapped towards his swirly gaze, unable to take the silence any longer. I stared at his mask. I **hate **that obnoxious orange excuse for a mask. He hasn't taken it off in front of anyone ever since he became Zetsu's subordinate. None of us really know what his face looks like or where he came from in the first place. Then again who really cares about the little shit...

"Hmm...Sempai..." Tobi said to me slowly, as if contemplating something.

"Ugh..." I groaned in annoyance, "What do you want Tobi?"

"Well, it's just that Tobi has never seen Sempai with his hair down before!!" He exclaimed in fascination, leaning towards me, trying to get a better view. "You look like a girl, Sempai!"

I noted that after my shower I had indeed forgotten to tie my hair back up, and that just gave Tobi another reason to bug me. From across the table, I heard Kisame snort in laughter, finding Tobi's stupidity to be hilarious. I ground my teeth together, trying to bite back the obscenities that lingered in my mouth, itching to be let out.

I cursed under my breath as I rose from where I knelt, soggy, uneaten corn flakes in hand. No, I wasn't going to let this minor setback ruin my day. Not yet anyway...

* * *

After leaving the dining area, I strutted down the corridor to my room, peremptory enthusiasm practically oozing off of me. 

"Hmm...How shall I spend the rest of my day?" I wondered aloud, trying to come up with something that could occupy me from the other members. "Maybe I can make some new clay creations aside from my birds and insects. A mouse, perhaps. Even a weasel..."

I thought of how I could torture the weasel.(a.k.a. Itachi) I was leaning towards the idea of burning the damn thing so it would squeal for mercy, then I would smash it with a hammer...

A rustling sound came from behind me, and Kakuzu's door slid open. He scuttled past me rather quickly, as if trying to escape something.

Or someone...

A huge stack of magazines and hard-covered books smacked me in the back of my head, and my mind was reeling. Once I regained consciousness, I spun around on my heel to face the perpetrator, steam shooting from my ears.

I caught the end of Hidan's rant that went something like: "Keep your shit-ass books out of my room you bastard–oh shit..." He could only stare at my face, and realize that I wasn't his intended target.

"I'm gonna freakin' **kill **you, you pile of shit!!" I hissed after him, as he practically sprinted down the hallway, not wanting to deal with my bull shit attitude. He may be immortal, but that doesn't mean I can't make him bleed...or, preferably _cry. _Although making him cry would never happen, it was still a nice thought at the time...

I tackled him before he reached the shelter of Zetsu's greenhouse, and socked him in the eye so hard, I broke some of his blood vessels. I knew that Leader-sama didn't like us fighting, because in the end, someone would probably die. But, amidst our fighting, I overlooked the fact that_ I_ would definatly die before Hidan did if we continued.

After he knocked me back against the wall opposite to him, he jabbed his elbow into my gut, knocking the wind out of me.

'Dammit, that's gonna bruise, un.' I thought, while trapping Hidan in an inescapable headlock.

A tall, dark shadow cleared it's throat above us to grasp our attention. We raised our heads to a very disgruntled Zetsu, who obviously had better things to do than break up fights between other members of the organization.

His dark half growled, "Get the hell up you two, or Leader-sama will break not only your necks, but mine as well." His white half chimed in, "Yeah, if I don't eat you two first..."

And with that, we slumped back to our rooms, bruised and frustrated. I stopped at the freezer first to grab an ice pack for the massive bump that was forming on the back of my blonde head.

I rested on my stomach, and thought about why we all get into fights so much. There were many plausible reasons, I concurred. But maybe we just all hated getting up in the morning. Knowing that if we were not on a dangerous mission involving a biju, or an assassination of someone getting in our _way_ of a biju, the only thing we _could_ do was get on each other's nerves.

That must be why I hate being here so much. The other members joined the organization of their own free will. They had this coming from the moment they decided to join. But me, I could be free right now. I could still be a terrorist in Iwagakure, making beautiful art wherever my clay bombs landed. I could be feared, admired even.

The only thing I _do_ know that will happen after I finally get out of this organization, is that my life will end with a beautiful demonstration of art and creation.

My life will end with a **BANG. **


End file.
